By: Gamuchirai Mvududu
Today’s relationships are not easy as they are now a lot more casual and a lot less invested than years before. The world has taken a totally different new dimension and lifestyles including relationships are drastically different from those that came before us.
Today’s relationships are now considered “modern relationships” no longer last. People just want a good thing and run away when things turn sour instead of fighting for the relationship. Things tend to fall apart so easily. Modern love now lacks that quality, substance and has become a mockery of what classic love used to be. There are so many reasons why modern relationships are failing as compared to those of ancient times. Let’s try to navigate the reasons why.
Social Media and Technology
Social media and technology are ruining today’s relationships. Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram come with so much pressure and young couples try to imitate others. Basically, it’s now a life of comparison, showcasing who is doing it better than the other. The modern world is more concerned with popularity and recognition and most young couples are now entering into relationships all in the name of wanting to gain social media popularity “to attract likes” as modern people say it. It has now become a battle on social media platforms.
Better described as “couples goals” relationships are no longer lasting. Couples’ goals feds on comparing your relationship to those of others. Seeing other people’s “goals’ can put pressure on a relationship and make one start to question where their relationship is at. Most couples in relationships are not genuinely happy, some are in relationships with people that don’t even make them happy but rather they pretend on the camera and social media posts.
The happiness these days in relationships is measured by how much a couple seems to be happy together on social media that is a recipe for disaster. Happiness has to come from within and not just being in a relationship just for couple goals. This has made a lot of relationships fail because most people are now concerned with “likes” and have no intentions of fighting for the relationship even when things turn sour.
High expectations are another reason why modern relationships are failing before they even see the end of the day. Often ladies get into relationships with high expectations from fairytales. High expectations often result in a comparison between the lifestyle you dream of and the actual right. It then leads to a lack of satisfaction from your partner. High expectations make one partner not appreciate fully what the other partner will be doing and once the other partner is not meeting the expectations of the other they are considered not giving their all and as a result, one leaves the relationship in pursuit of greener pastures. A relationship is a partnership and couples are supposed to act in a certain way or standard. Expectations are normal in a relationship but when they become ‘high” they might end up spoiling a good thing. Not ditching high expectations lead to the failure of the relationship.
Lack Of Commitment
Lack of commitment is also a contributing factor to why modern relationships are failing. Commitments are not being honored. There is the fear of commitment as relationships are easy to build and hard to maintain. Today’s relationships and ancient ones are no longer the same. Back then couples used to commit easily and there was no fear of commitment. Most relationships fail because of a lack of commitment as modern couples are afraid of making long-term commitments because they still want to enjoy themselves.
People think that commitment is a chain that will enslave them. Nowadays couples promise each other a million things but they fail to fulfill them and as a result “it ends up in tear”. It is easy for people these days to move from one relationship to the other all in the name of not wanting to commit. Modern-day relationships are not characterized by seriousness and most people are only looking for a good time that’s why they fail to commit. Commitment is being taken lightly and rather than putting in the effort to sustain a relationship, breaking up and ending things seems to be the easy path. At the end of the day, a relationship without commitment is doomed to fail.
Lust comes before love, this is the most common reason why modern-day relationships are failing. The hunger for lust is now overriding the hunger for love. Most people in relationships are just hungry for lust, they fail to understand that there is a difference between love and lust. The former is the soul while the latter is just an attraction towards the body. Most young people in relationships tend to confuse the two or have different views when it comes to the two.
Young people think that love can be born from lust and this is the first mistake any person can ever make when starting a new relationship. So when lust overrides love a relationship is bound to fail because love is the one that keeps a relationship together when things hit rock bottom. A relationship that is full of lust will and can never stand the test of time. It is crucial for a couple to have the same views when it comes to the two, to avoid disappointments.
When one party wants to love and the other wants lust, the relationship is bound to fail because the intentions will be totally different. Modern-day people are now interested in physical pleasure and neglect the emotional needs of the other and this is a major cause to why relationships are failing.
Fear Of Failure
Fear of failure is another reason why modern-day relationships are failing. Nowadays people enter into relationships with the fear that they won’t last and the fear that their ex is the same as the current partner. Obsessing that a relationship will not work will make the whole thing blow up in your face. Most people are allowing their fears to ruin the relationship. The mistake that modern people are doing in today’s relationships is to compare their past relationships with new ones and think that old negative patterns and fears will appear again in the new relationship.
All the energy is now invested in predictability instead of seeing it as realness hence the relationship becomes fragile because of assumptions. Couples are now blinded by Insecurities and it ends up ruining the relationship. When one partner holds on to harmful beliefs like the fear of failing they won’t be able to trust their partner completely and trust is the foundation of any relationship without trust, the relationship is definitely bound to fail. Too many insecurities can create a toxic atmosphere in any relationship.
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